(The scene starts in the forest as it shows Elmer Fudd sneaking out to find a rabbit and shushes to the audience.)
Elmer Fudd: Be vewy, vewy quiet. I’m hunting wabbits. (laughs)
(The scene changes to show Daffy Duck hammering a rabbit sign to avoid getting blasted by Elmer.)
Daffy Duck: I am a duck; bent on self-preservationum-unum.
(Bugs arrives into the scene & fixes the rabbit sign, catching Elmer’s attention. He points his gun at the rabbit, while Daffy smiles smugly at the sight.)
Elmer Fudd: (while pointing his shotgun at Bugs Bunny) Say your pwayers, wabbit. It’s wabbit season.
Bugs Bunny: Duck season.
Daffy Duck: Wabbit season!
Bugs Bunny: Duck season.
Daffy Duck: Wabbit season!
Bugs Bunny: Wabbit season.
Daffy Duck: Duck season! Fire! (Elmer blasts Daffy’s beak, moving it backwards, as the duck can only grin sarcastically at Bugs as a montage follows, featuring Elmer shooting Daffy while Bugs does a set of trick during the montage; first holding a dart circle where Daffy’s beak lands, & as a bullfighter, wherein Daffy’s beak flies past the cape) Fire! (Daffy gets blasted and his beak lands on a tree bark, leading to yet another montage of being shot at by Elmer) Hold everything! (the scene cuts to a boardroom where Daffy reviews the script) « Daffy gets blasted. » Mm-hmm. (flips through the script) Page 7: « Daffy gets blasted. » (laughs sarcastically as he flips through the script again) Page 8: « Daffy gets blasted »… (puts down the script in anger) AGAIN?! What’s the matter with you people? We can’t do this kind of stuff anymore! Brothers Warner… show biz legends like me shouldn’t have to play stooge… to that long-eared, carrot-chomping, OVERBITE-CHALLENGED-
(The scene switches to Bugs Bunny eating a carrot.)
Bugs Bunny: Eh, what’s up, doc? (Daffy reacts shockingly & scowls at Bugs while the executives are happy to see him) Hey, Bobby, how’s the wife? (2 ladies prepare Bugs’ seat) Great nose job, Chuck. Oh, thanks, girls. Good rug, Mel. Never would have guessed. (the ladies move Bugs’ seat near Daffy’s) Pardon me.
Daffy Duck: (while moving Bugs’ seat almost away from the table) The pleasure is mine.
Bugs Bunny: Fellas, I think Daff’s right. Maybe I’ll take a vacation. (opening his wallet that shows his list of pictures featuring his nieces and nephews) Go visit my 542 nieces and nephews.
Kate Houghton: Mr. Duck, excuse me, I’m sorry. I don’t see how we can have a Bugs Bunny movie without Bugs Bunny.
Daffy Duck: (he gets up off his seat and walks on the table) Oh, my heavens, no. You couldn’t have a movie without Bugs Bunny! If you don’t mind me asking, whose glorified personal assistant are you?
Kate Houghton: (shakes hand with Daffy) Kate Houghton, Vice President, Comedy.
Daffy Duck: Right. (he notices his hand is frozen after the handshake)
Warner Brother #1: Kate did Lethal Weapon Babies. Finally, a Lethal Weapon that I can take my grandchildren to.
Kate Houghton: Gentlemen, check your phones. (everybody prepares their notophones, except for the Warner Bros. think she is referring to their telephones, so some ladies give them their notophones) Our latest research shows that Bugs Bunny is a core asset that appeals to male and female, young and old throughout the universe… (it shows Bugs’ high ratings and changes to Daffy’s rating which lowers) while your fan base is limited to angry fat guys in basements.
Daffy Duck: Yeah, but… Come on, fellas, I’m thrice the entertainer the rabbit is!
(Bugs chomps on a carrot and burps, making everyone laugh.)
Daffy Duck: Fine, it’s hilarious… but, moviegoers these days demand action heroes, like me! (Daffy starts performing karate moves on the table, messing it up and twisting himself in the process) Top that, rabbit. (Bugs taps Daffy with his foot and makes him drop his eyes, leaving Daffy blind as they laugh; he grabs his eyes and confronts the Warner Bros.) So, it has come to this, has it? I’m afraid the Brothers Warner must choose… between a handsome matinee idol… or this miscreant perpetrator of low burlesque.